“A Harvard study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that asking two follow-up questions dramatically increases how likable other people perceive you to be.

As the researchers write:

We converse with others to learn what they know – their information, stories, preferences, ideas, thoughts, and feelings …

In particular, asking questions that follow up on the other person’s responses causes and conveys better listening, understanding, validation, and care.

The question asker’s responsiveness, in turn, is likely to cause him or her to be better liked by the question answerer.

Imagines someone who listens. Understands. Validates. Cares.

Someone who, as Duhigg writes, asks questions that invite vulnerable responses. As long as you match that vulnerability, you’ll be more popular. More likely to be seen as a leader. More frequently asked for advice or guidance.”